How to Survive a Parent's Divorce!

!!!!PLEASE SKIP TO THE BOTTOM IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ!!!!

I'll start with my story:

So recently (I mean May 4th), my parents got into a big argument at 4 in the morning. My sister ended up texting me to wake me up, and she told me:

"Mom cheated on Dad"

I ended up texting her back:

"Seriously?"

And ran up to the family room. And my dad was acting weird as my mom was sitting there, saying "Go fix my car".

My dad, being a Mechanic, disabled my mom's car due to the lack of trust he had in her. She was out late with a group of friends on a Sunday night into a Monday morning. He didn't want her going out again.

I was in the room, my sister (13 years old) was in her room (kind of coming in and out), and my brother (9 years old) was in the room.

My dad kept shouting vulgar words at my mom like "You're a whore/slut" and kept saying how her "fuck" was waiting for her across town. He kept repeating himself then he said the most scariest words I've ever heard him say.

"I will go to jail if I have to to beat up this guy's ass"

He started THREATENING to go to Jail now. That's kind of when I knew there's something up with him. (He took what he said seriously, I'll explain that later). He was doing body movements I've never seen him do, and it was so bad, I had to call my friend to come pick me up that morning since I didn't trust my dad driving me to school.

So I ended up going to school that day, awake since 4 in the morning and home at 2:20. I was doing some research and while my dad was freaking out, he had the guy's (his predicted guy my mom was cheating on him with) name and I decided to look him up on Facebook. Yes, I found him. I did what I shouldn't have done.

I messaged him.

He told me everything. My mom NEVER cheated, so let's get that over the fence. They've known eachother for over 20 years and worked together as Security in Target. They dated back when my mom was a Senior in HS, and he (Ken) was a Freshman in College. So I figured:

"Hey my mom's finally happy and I haven't seen her so happy, so I'm happy."

Ken is such a nice, funny guy and I think he'd be a great Father figure for my little brother.

Anyways, I got home and my dad took my mom's phone and kept it, he kept writing down things from my mom's phone, wrote Ken's phone number on the BATHROOM SHOWER WALL WITH A SHARPIE so he "couldn't forget it".

The fights contiued through the Tuesday morning, and this is something that threw me off.

My mom asked "So, do you want to get a Divorce?" and my dad, without a second to spare, answered "No."

I laughed.

Anyways, on that Wednesday, after school, my mom left me a text saying she wasn't coming back. Not until her Lawyer and her find out something to do and to keep her safe. She was at Kens, but we had to keep telling my dad that she was at Grandpa's.

On the Thursday morning (Or Wednesday?) I went to my Psychology teacher about everything. She was also my History teacher, last block of every day. She was the one who helped me through it. "Remember to be a kid", "You're very strong", etc. She had me go to the counselor, and with my mom's permission, my counselor told my sister and brother's too about everything.

To add to the "Threatening to go to Jail", my dad came home about 2-3 hours late Thursday night. The reason being, he went to Ken's work (Telling my mom he had a gun in his toolbox), he lied about who he was working for, and wanted to go to the work to beat Ken up. He was searched, the car was searched, and there wasn't a weapon (Thank God, I don't know what I would've done home alone with the Kids). He came home all proud, and kept saying "I feel like I defeated the big bad wolf" and "I don't feel like a wuss anymore".(By then, I was scared sh*tless).

So that Thursday night, my dad came down to my room and talked to me for about 3 hours. I just told him mom needed space, etc. He got me involved with the Bills, Money, all this adult stuff. (It honestly sucked). But it was mainly me reassuring him that everything will be okay, even though I knew it wasn't at all.

Skipping to that Friday (The day I had my AP Lang & Comp Test), after school, the Police came and picked up my dad.My mom came with her best friend's husband and picked up my siblings and I to stay somewhere else for the weekend.

I haven't seen my dad since.

Until the 4th of July parade I was marching in.

He got a haircut, shaved, lost about 40-50 pounds, his eyes were nearly bloodshot, it was scary. My grandma was there too.

But life with my mom hasn't been perfect, but she's practically living off my grandpa's money until Child Support is in. We're with her "Boyfriend" (Ken, lool), at his apartment. It's really nice here, he has a 4.5 year old girl who's very sweet. I'm deffinately less stressed than I was with my dad. Even though my mom drinks and only got drunk ONCE (which she hadn't had anything to eat that day, I was still nonetheless upset with her), I still think life here was 100% better than with my dad.

Yes, we visited a "Child Lawyer" on my dad's request so us kids had a say in who we stayed with. I'm crossing my fingers that I only see my dad every other weekend. (He works full time, off on every other Saturday and off on every Sunday. Works from 8am-4pm). So he probably wouldn't be able to see us then anyways.

No, I'm not picking either parent's side, I just want to be where I think my health is best.

Although, my dad's lying about my mom saying she's a drug addict, etc. If he's going to lie to make my mom look like a bad person, he doesn't need to talk to me.

He also told me (over the phone at some point) that he got a Vasectomy. 

Also, my brother was staying the night at my Godmother's house (Once again, the house we stayed at when my dad got taken from the police), I've told my dad, told him he couldn't go there to visit my brother, he insisted, but instead called the police and they arrived 10 minutes AFTER mom and Ken picked him up. Thank goodness.

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Here's the advice:

1. If you get stressed out, PLEASE go to someone you trust! School teacher, Counselor, Friend! They care for you as much as a parent would! (FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE)
2. If you feel like you have to pick a side of a parent/One parent is bashing on the other one to you, SIMPLY ask them to stop! Since they are going through this horrible mess and want to seem like the good parent you should stay with, they will SPOIL you! Ask for space, they will give it! (PERSONAL EXPERIENCE)
3. Go somewhere you enjoy! Swimming, Sports, Friend's House, anywhere to keep your mind off of "The Situation"! It honestly helps to clear your mind/let your emotions out. It's healthier too! (PERSONAL EXPERIENCE) 
4. If you feel as if you are "The New Adult", please go act like a kid! Go have fun!

I care for everyone going through this situation, or have already gone through it. I understand it absolutely sucks. It makes time go by fast, and before you know it, it'll be over with. It's still not over for me yet, but it doesn't last forever and I know I (and you) can get through it!

Please don't be afraid to ask me questions, I would love to help you!